Is Your Child College and Career Ready? The Importance of Motivation and Work Ethic

As your children attend a Milwaukee Public School this year, you will notice a renewed theme of getting our kids “College and Career Ready.”  All of our students will begin learning about how they learn best and even our youngest children will begin thinking about what they want to do after they graduate from high school.  Our fifth and seventh graders will all begin Academic and Career Plans that will follow them throughout high school.  Our eighth graders will make important decisions about high school and will continue working on their post-secondary plans.

All of these things are critical focuses because one of the things we know about academic and career success is that thinking and dreaming and setting goals and expectations about your life as an adult needs to begin early in life.  Have you ever asked a preschooler what they want to be when they grow up?  They most always have some kind of an answer because that’s when their dreams start!

We also know that one of the things that sometimes hold our students back from reaching those dreams and goals is a lack of motivation and work ethic.  This is something that we want all of our students to learn this year: to become motivated learners who become persistent and consistent hard workers.

As adults, we know the importance and necessity of work.  We may all secretly think that the world owes us a living, but most of us understand that even if we think this, we still have to work very hard to get it.  This understanding has ideally motivated us to develop a strong work ethic.  Children are motivated by the same forces that we are so one of the first steps in teaching your child to work is understanding how your child is motivated. 

The forces that motivate us all fall into two very simple categories: extrinsic (outside) and intrinsic (inner) motivation.  

Extrinsic motivation is when a teacher, a boss, or any other adult tells us that we have to do something or else!  

Intrinsic motivation is when we do something because we want to do it, have chosen to do it, or have set it as a goal. We have decided that it is important so it is more rewarding and much easier to maintain.

This is obviously the kind of motivation we want children to develop because if they are only motivated extrinsically or from outside forces, what happens when the outside forces are not there?

How can you tell if your child has the characteristics of motivation that are necessary to become a motivated learner who knows how to work? Here is a chart that can help you understand your child and his/her motivation:

Motivation Characteristic	High Motivation	Low Motivation
Persistence	Sticks with a task.  May  not always achieve it, but child will keep trying	Gives up easily when not instantly successful
Choice of Challenge	Chooses a slightly difficult activity that provides a challenge	Chooses something that is easy and means instant success
Dependency on adults (this of course develops with the age of your child)	Does not need adult constantly watching and helping during an activity	Needs constant attention and can’t function independently
Emotion	Is generally happy and shows enjoyment and pride during activity	Is quiet, sullen, or bored during an activity.  Shows no pleasure and complains often

Do you recognize some of these traits in your child?  Regardless of which column you feel your child falls into right now, we can help children increase intrinsic/inner motivation that will lead to a strong work ethic with some very simple guidelines.  These guidelines can be used with schoolwork, household chores, or any kind of “work” that children do.

1. Be a good role model. If we want our children to be motivated, we need to show them that we are motivated internally and not just by external factors.  After a long day at work, instead of complaining, focus on the positive things that you did well. Instead of saying, “My boss made me work so hard today” say “Today my boss gave me a really big project and I didn’t get it done but I’m proud of the way I kept trying even though it was so difficult. I’ll work on it again tomorrow.”
2. Emphasize the importance of practice.  Homework is important because it provides time to practice skills that are important to mastery.  An accomplished pianist knows that a successful concert involved hours of mistake-ridden practice.  A soccer team doesn’t win a game without many practice sessions. Practice doesn’t always make perfect, but it’s necessary if we are going to even get close to the goal.  
   
3. Give your child enough time to work successfully.  Children need time to think, work, and apply what they are learning.  Their working environment should be free from interruptions or distractions (this means no TV!) and our time table shouldn’t be the standard.  If your schedule only allows for limited time, give your child warnings about how much time they realistically have and then provide time later to finish.
4. Resist the urge to jump in and help.  Too often, we as educators and parents focus on the end product rather than the process and we forget that we are all “works in progress,” regardless of our age.  There are important lessons to be learned in the failures as well as the successes.  Allow your child to develop persistence by “pushing through” and “sticking to it” even if it results in a failed attempt.  “Nothing in the world is ever completely wrong. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.” (quote from Paulo Coelho, Brazilian lyricist and novelist)
   
5. If your child needs help, work with him as a positive model. This means don’t do it for him.  
   
   If he is stuck on something, ask questions that will help him solve the problem himself rather than giving the answer.  Explore the problem together and if you don’t know how to help, help him find resources that will support his learning.
6. Instead of praising or criticizing a child’s work, ask your child to evaluate.  The easiest thing to do is to tell a child what you think of their work but if you want critical thinking and problem solving skills to develop, ask them how they think they did first and then listen.  Ask them first, “What do you think of your work?
7. Don’t give dishonest or empty praise. Giving a sticker to everyone just because they exist, does nothing to create self-esteem.  Children develop self-esteem from the work they do, the value that they put on it, and their belief in their ability.  If you praise a project that is obviously below par, you may give your child the message that this is all you believe they can do. 
8. Praise the effort and persistence rather than the actual accomplishment.  This is so easy to do but we so often forget to do it.  We all want to know that our efforts are recognized even if the outcome is not the best and children are no different. Instead of evaluating the end project, you might say something like, “I love the way you worked so hard on this project.”
9. Encourage your child when challenged or help him find challenging activities. 
   
   Your child will be more motivated and will feel more successful with slightly challenging activities rather than easy tasks.  If something is obviously too easy for your child, encourage something new that teaches new skills and content.
10. Don’t reward your child excessively or when it is not earned.  Rewards from you or from school are sometimes needed to encourage a child along the way but remember that the kind of motivation we want a child to have ultimately is intrinsic or coming from within rather than from outside forces.  Our long-term goal is for children to feel rewarded by their sense of accomplishment and pride rather than something material.

Understanding what motivates a child and encouraging the development of inner motivation is the first step to helping your child develop a strong work ethic and ultimately success in school and work.   The amazing thing about a new school year is that most children, especially the young ones, are motivated simply by the new start and the prospect of learning.  Take advantage of this by making sure your child has the structure and support that is needed to help form healthy habits that will sustain his learning throughout the year and life!    

“Get going. Move forward. Aim High. Plan a takeoff. Don't just sit on the runway and hope someone will come along and push the airplane. It simply won't happen. Change your attitude and gain some altitude. Believe me, you'll love it up here.”
(Love him or hate him.....Donald Trump said this and he must know something about motivation and hard work!)

Getting Ready for School: What's Sleep Got to Do with It?

Every Thursday is designated “CST” day in my office.  CST stands for “Collaborative Support Team.” That’s just a fancy term for a group of caring adults getting together to discuss challenges that a child may be having in the classroom, and then coming up with ideas to help solve problems.  Many times, the team discovers, after discussion, that a major contributor to a child’s challenges (academic or behavioral) in the classroom is sleep deprivation.

Does this sound familiar?

• The only way I can get Carlos to sleep is if he sleeps with me.
• Miranda insists on having the television on in her room in order to sleep.
• Roberto tosses and turns in bed for hours before finally falling to sleep.
• Cynthia will not get up in the morning.
• Eduardo won’t go to bed until I go to bed which is about midnight.

If you have experienced some of these problems with your child, you are not alone.  Many parents have problems getting their children to go to bed at night but most don’t understand that the problems of lack of sleep are generally carried into the school day.  Research shows that children who don’t get enough sleep frequently exhibit or are at risk for:

• Poor academic performance and lower grades in school
• Lower test scores
• Difficulties with focus, attention, and concentration
• Fatigue or lethargy in the classroom
• Hyperactivity in the classroom
• Irritability with peers and adults
•  Emotional problems such as depression, anxiety, sadness, anger, or worry
• Weight problems that lead to obesity and risk of diabetes
• Frequent illness and autoimmune problems

Sleep is one of the basic nutrients in life just like food.  I have never heard a mother or father in my office say, “I really don’t care too much about feeding my child.”  If you think about sleep in the same manner that you think about food, you gain a new perspective on its importance. So how much sleep does your child really need?  The Centers for Disease Control and the National Sleep Foundation agree on the following guidelines:

• Newborns (up to 2 months): Infants have the widest range: from 10 ½ to 18 hours a day is normal
• Babies (Up to 1 year): Sleep patterns should fall into nap (1 – 4 naps a day) and bedtime patterns (9 – 12 hours a night). 
• Toddlers (ages 1 – 3): 12 – 14 hours per day that includes one midday nap
• Preschoolers (ages 3 – 5): Most preschoolers need 11 – 13 hours a night and the need for naps diminishes by about age five.
• Elementary Age Children (ages 5 – 12): 10 – 11 hours a night
• Teens (ages 13 and up): 9 – 9 ½ hours a night

So these are the guidelines.  What if your children haven’t read the guidelines and have some very bad sleep habits? What’s a parent to do?

1) Declare it a new day and be the boss. Healthy sleep habits start at an early age but that doesn’t mean it’s too late to set new guidelines for sleep.  Set a bedtime for your child and follow through.  It may be difficult in the beginning, but don’t give in.  You have to outlast your whining, complaining child because you are the adult and you know that a healthier night’s sleep will pay off in the long run.  If your child argues, say “I love you too much to argue” and calmly tuck him/her in.

2) Keep bedtimes (and getting up times) consistent.  Consistent bedtimes, even on the weekend, will help keep your child’s body clock in a healthy routine. Inconsistent bedtimes are like homemade jetlag.  Research says that staying up three hours later on the weekend is equivalent to flying across three time zones every weekend.

3) Prepare your child for bedtime.  Give him/her warnings.  For example, “just a reminder, lights off in 30 minutes.”  Then remind them again at ten minutes.  Children like warnings so that they can finish their activities whether it is play or work.

4) Establish pre-bedtime routines.  Warm baths, brushing teeth, getting jamies on 30 minutes prior to bed, listening to calming instrumental music, or reading a bedtime story are all routines that will help children wind down and get ready to sleep.

5) Choose the right bedtime story.  Reading to your child is very important but 
choosing a book before bedtime that helps prepare their brains

is very important and some books can cause their brains to “gear-up” instead of calm down.  For example, books that include adventure, lots of action, loud noises, concept books that teach, or books that require kids to follow directions like stomping, jumping or otherwise might prove to have the opposite effect. Here is a link for some of the best bedtime books for kids:     


 http://childrensbooksguide.com/bedtime

6) Don’t let homework be a “right before bedtime” activity.  Homework is supposed to turn the brain on and keep children thinking.  If their brains are in active mode right before bedtime, they will have a hard time turning their brains off when it’s time to curl up under the blankets.

7) Turn off all technology. Statistics show that 77 percent of children use television as part of their pre-bedtime routine. While it might seem that the sitting still that is required for media use should help children wind down for bedtime, research shows that the brightness of the screens on televisions, video games, and cell phones can delay both the necessary drop in core body temperature and melatonin production that makes it necessary for the body to fall asleep.  This could delay a child’s sleep onset for up to two hours. 

8) Avoid anything with caffeine or sugar as an ingredient at least four hours before bedtime.  Caffeine is a stimulant and makes children more alert and energetic, the last thing you want your child to be right before bedtime.  Read labels of the foods that your child consumes before bedtime but some examples of high caffeine/sugar foods are sodas, tea, cocoa, chocolate, popsicles, candy, ice cream, frozen yogurt, or cakes.  In addition, some cold-relief medications include a healthy dose of caffeine so read the labels of any over-the-counter medications.

9) Keep your child’s room cool and keep the technology out of the bedroom. The hormones and rhythm system that helps regulate our sleep are temperature sensitive and light sensitive. A room that is too warm can slow the beginning of sleep and disrupt that important REM (the deepest) sleep.  There is also new research that shows that the light of a television or the constant “lighting up” of a cell phone when a new message or notification arrives, can keep a sleeping child (or adult) from achieving or maintaining REM sleep.  Many teens tell me that they sleep with their cell phones right next to them and many socialize all night on Facebook or through texting so is it any surprise that they come to school tired and not ready for learning?

10) If your child has a difficult time falling asleep, try different techniques until you find something that works. For example, a) tuck him/her in with the promise of checking in on them in ten minutes if the problem is being separated; b) turn on mellow, classical, or instrumental music. Music with words sometimes stimulates the mind;

c) Use “monster repellant” (spray bottle of colored water) to run the monsters out of the room; 

d) Teach your child to use relaxation techniques.  Here’s a link to the “I Can’t Fall Asleep Game.”  It’s a simple to use routine that can help kids learn to relax and fall asleep on their own: 

http://fit.webmd.com/jr/recharge/article/falling-asleep-activity



11) Consult your pediatrician or a sleep specialist if your child has continued problems that don’t respond to your interventions.  There are children who have sleep disorders like sleep apnea, nightmares, restless leg syndrome and night waking.  In addition, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, 16% of kids snore a few times a week and can be cause for concern.  Children’s snoring is not like adult snoring and doctors now believe that even a little snoring could be a major cause for concern because children’s developing brains can be deprived of oxygen.  Bottom line is that if your child continues to have problems with sleep despite your efforts to implement healthy guidelines, see a doctor.

Healthy sleep habits start at an early age and lead to a happy disposition, positive self-esteem, and success in school and peer relationships.  But it’s never too late to start.  If your child has unhealthy sleep habits, begin this school year on a new note. In the words of one of America’s founding fathers:

Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. ~ attributed to Benjamin Franklin

By the way, any parent can request a CST. If you have a problem or concern at home or at school, please see your child's classroom teacher or me to schedule a meeting.  It's a great way to get help with any concerns that you have regarding your child's academic, social, emotional, or behavioral health and growth. 

What's the View?

Summer is winding down and believe it or not, in less than three weeks, Vieau School will be humming and drumming again with the sound of your children getting back to the business of learning.

There will be many new things in store for your children this year and at Vieau, we want to be able to communicate with the parents of Vieau in as many ways as possible.

If you aren't aware of the Vieau School website, make it a favorite on your computer desktop.  Information about our school is always available but perhaps the most important information is the posting of daily homework and the links to all of our fantastic computer-based programs that your children can link into from home.  The link to our homepage is:

http://ww2.milwaukee.k12.wi.us/vieau/English/index.html

We also have a Facebook page that you might like to LIKE and check into for our daily news feeds.  We frequently post pictures of the amazing events we have at Vieau and you might see pictures of your Vieau School student occasionally. There are also great links to other pages and articles that we feel are helpful to parents and students as they navigate through the educational system. The link to our Facebook page is below.  Please encourage your friends to "LIKE" us and spread the word.

www.facebook.com/EscuelaVieau

So what's "The View?"  Why have one more thing to read?  As the school counselor, I have managed the Facebook page since we started it but every once in a while, we have more information than Facebook will allow us to post.  I also like to share important information on subjects that will help your child excel academically, socially, emotionally, and in the area of career development.  So I'm going to TRY to start a blog that is specific to counseling issues.  We'll see how it goes. As the school year progresses, it becomes more difficult to for me to think and write, but I do think it can be a valuable communication tool if I can keep up with it!

One thing that I like about this blog site is that it has a translation feature that allows you to translate into Spanish.  I'm hoping that Google knows how to translate as well as our teachers at Vieau do.

If you have questions, comments, or topics that you would like to see covered, you can communicate through the comment section.

One last reminder about important upcoming dates:

OPEN HOUSE: Wednesday, August 28th, 2013 from 5:30 - 7:00

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL FOR K5 - 8TH GRADE STUDENTS: Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013

STAGGERED START DATES FOR K4 STUDENTS: Watch your mail to find out when your K4 student will attend for his/her first day.  First day for some students will be Tuesday, September 3rd and Wednesday, September 4th will be the first day for others.  ALL K4 students will attend on Thursday, September 4th.

Set your alarm clocks a little earlier this year . . . there is a new start time for students . . .7:35!  That means more time to learn!